Gaze After目送 

1st December 2015  /  life upon life

Layers of steps were hidden between the trees, leading to a bridge. I should go through the trees and wait for bus on the bridge. My father sent me to the bridge. Then I carried bags out of the car to go on the steps to wait for the bus. Lop wickers drifting in the wind, I went through the screen-like wickers that hided my figure, mounted the steps. I set foot on the layers step by step, unavoidably halting for the heavy bags. I stepped to the top, the bus station was opposite. I was going through the road to wait for the bus. I glanced around, the traffic flowing. I had a casual glance, then a red dot entered my line of sight, which was slightly familiar. I turned to it and unexpectedly found that was my father’s helmet. I was shocked that father had been silently gazing me after behind my back. Through the trees I saw his vague figure. It turned out that he had been gazing me after when I was going on a long journey. That gazing gently touched the soft corner in my heart. 

When the vehicle was less, I walked through the road to the bus station. However, it had been lingering in my head that my father was silently gazing me after. Probably more than once, he gazed me after like this, but I hadn’t found it in the past. We went far away for dream, but even hardly took notice of parents’ gazing following us behind us. Such a father remind me of a note by Yingtai Long: “What are called parents and children just means that your and his fate is to share the rest of my life constantly watching his back away……And he silently tells you with his back not to catch up." 

Xuan Diao

一层层台阶隐于树木之间,通向桥上。我需穿过树丛,去上面等车。爸爸将我送到桥下,我拎着大包小包下了车,即将踏上台阶去等车。垂下的柳条在风中飘荡,我穿过如幕的遮掩我身影的柳条,登上了台阶。我一步步踏上台阶,因包略显沉重,不免步伐有些蹒跚。我登到了顶部,对面是车站。我准备穿过马路到那等车。左顾右盼,来往车辆不绝。不经意一瞥,一个红点闯入我的视线,略显熟悉,我转过头,竟发现那是爸爸戴的头盔。惊觉原来爸爸一直在我背后默默注视着我。隔着树木依稀看到他的身影,原来在我远行的时候,他一直默默地注视着我的背影,这样的目送让我内心柔软的角落被轻轻触动。在车辆渐少的时候,我穿过了马路,到了车站。但爸爸默默目送我的画面一直在我脑海里挥之不去。也许不止一次,他如这般目送着我离开,而过去的我竟一直未曾发现。我们为了理想而去远方,但不曾留意到背后父母追随的眼光。这样的父亲,让我想起龙应台的一段话:“所谓父女母子一场,只不过意味着,你和他的缘分就是今生今世不断地在目送他的背影渐行渐远。……而且,他用背影默默告诉你:不必追。"

刁璇