Recently I am upset because I am worried about my nephew’s learning situation. My nephew is a senior this year in a middle school which is located in the town and has good graduation rates, but he was dropped home 10 days after beginning class. Sister stated to me all what happened on the phone, almost with tears–the teacher head said her child was later for class due to head-washing in the morning (in fact he washed last night). School has a rule prohibiting playing basketball at noon but he ignored. He played alone in the playground and kept on playing even if the teacher came near to him. Actually I well know my nephew--I see him growing up slowly and know he is as kind and honest as children from the village, but he is also rebellious at his age. He has ever fought for the intimate male friends and it should be ok for him to keep exam scores top five in the class.
Even though forced to leave school, he does everything without any regret. On summer vacation he promises me to pursue famous 211 university but played the game once get home. Furthermore, he is so indifferent to his own parents that his mother smashed computer furiously and then he slammed the door. The family atmosphere turns in a mess. I well understand all his mother’s pains and sense of helplessness. However, after repentance, I find that I am prejudged at that issue and gradually deeply understand him. Washing head only shows he takes much attention on appearance but without disciplined mistakes. Washing again in the next morning perhaps because hairstyle is not charming enough after one night. Playing basketball at noon may because he is not satisfactory to headteacher’s misunderstanding and criticism. And keeping on playing is possibly a kind of silent protest. This time, so fierce protest is a collective performance. Obviously the teacher doesn’t solve the problem by dropping him home, and neither are my sister and brother-in-law.
At the thought of this, I can not help bursting a cold sweat because I made such mistake as the headteacher, dropping students home and saying to students’ parents “Do not come back class without any repentance.” As a matter of fact, I overlooked one fact that the parents may not solve the problem and perhaps the whole family loses in great pains. After meditation, I suggest Sister to understand her son because the studying assignment is so hard and high pressured for a senior and perhaps he will be punished by a teacher when mistakes are made. It is not likely that rebellious children under huge pressure will be mature to deal with problems. It is also easy for us to understand he is repressed under multiple pressures when sitting in the classroom and meanwhile he can not express his meaning when faced with closest parents. Gradually he fails to find a harbor to protect his soul.
In sum, the best solution is help him to find out the reasons behind it and then overcome. I know my nephew is not good at English and Biology, then I share my ways to learning, encourage him to ask the teacher more, and persuade his mother to look for a teacher to make up a missed lesson, help him to alleviate the pressure of learning. After a period of time, I feel his eagerness to learning and his gentle attitude to learning when on the phone conversation. To change the teacher in charge of you from the beginning of the improve your grades, I said to him, "If you want to change teacher’s attitude to you, should begin from improving yr scores . You should prove that you are a good student but not necessary to show you never make mistakes." On the other hand, I get more understanding on “love” of the teaching profession.许映峰 Yingfeng Xu
最近有些心烦，外甥的学习境况让我痛心不已。外甥今年高三，在老家一所升学率尚可的镇上高中读书，可是高三开学刚十天，就被班主任赶回了家。姐姐在电话中向我陈述事情的经过，几乎带着哭腔：班主任说他晚上洗头，第二天早上又洗头并因此迟到；学校不允许中午打篮球，可他就打，一个人在操场打，班主任到了他身边他依然打。其实外甥的情况我是清楚的，我几乎看着他长大，有着农村孩子该有的淳朴和善良，但青春期的他也有着这个年龄阶段特有的叛逆，为了哥们的事打过架，但成绩在班级前五名，本一没有问题。被班主任赶回家的外甥并没有任何悔意，暑假还在我家和我信誓旦旦保证冲刺211大学的他一到家就玩起了游戏，对父母的话置若罔闻，姐姐气得砸了电脑，外甥摔门而去，于是全家一片混乱。姐姐的痛苦和无奈我感同身受。抛开我的教师职业去看待这件事，我的判断竟然带上了“感情色彩”，我深深理解外甥。洗头是男孩爱美的表现，并没有原则性的错，第二天早上再洗也许是因为睡了一晚“发型不再美观”，而他对班主任的不理解和严厉批评不满于是中午去打篮球来发泄情绪，班主任站在身旁“依然打”就是一种无声的抗议。而这次这么激烈的抗议一定是长期以来的一种集中爆发，显然班主任将其赶回家丝毫没有解决问题，而我的姐姐姐夫也没有处理这种问题的办法。想到这里，我不禁惊出一阵冷汗，我也曾经把学生赶回去过，“反省好了在来”，这是当时和家长讲的话，而事实上，我忽略了家长也许根本解决不了问题，甚至整个家庭会陷入巨大的痛苦之中。我苦思冥想后建议姐姐：一定要理解外甥。是的，高三学习生活那么辛苦，孩子压力很大，犯了错误被老师惩罚，叛逆的孩子在巨大的学习压力下是不可能成熟的去面对的。可以理解面对着多重压力他坐在教室中是压抑的，而他面对至亲的父母时又不会表达，关键面对的是和班主任观点一致、无法走进他内心的父母，长期下去，压力无处释放，心灵没有港湾。所以，解决问题的最好方法就是帮其找出问题的原因，帮助其解决。外甥的英语和生物不是很好，于是我和他交流着两门学科的学习心得，鼓励他多问老师，并让姐姐找老师给他补课，“帮助他缓解学习的压力”，电话中，外甥的语气柔和了很多，我感受到了他对学习的憧憬。要改变班主任对你的看法从提高你的成绩开始，我对他说，你要用实力证明，你是一个优秀的学生，你无须证明，你是一个不犯错误的学生。取乎上，得乎中。换个角度，我对这个职业的“爱”又多了一份理解。